indikator

the one that indicate that i'm lonely is write on this blog too often in one day.
like today.
uummmhhh...missing sum1. why she is disappear from twitter world. i find her everyhour this day. but she haven't been appear until now. her last tweet was in 17 december, thursday. and now already 21 december, monday...uhhhhh. but actually i'm sure that she still checking her twitter. she just dont write a tweets. so actually she read my tweets...
heelloowww so, she must read that i want to watch "sang pemimpi" much. and she must know that i will not watch it without her. but she was ignoring my tweets. uhhhhh...
actually i want to go to surabaya this day. but i postpone it. feeling so tired and think that i need take some rest this day. tomorrow is impossible to go, because tomorrow will be a busy day in my home. so i plan to go there in wednesday. besides that i want our friends to go with me. doing some adventure. i was tell them. but dont know whether they will go with me or not.
by the wayyy... i think we usually like this. nope. you usually like this. everytime you go home, you always ignoring me all the time. not call me. even not send me sms. even you became write in twitter rarely. always. that was always makes me affraid. that maybe something happen. but i'm not your boyfriend, i dont have any right to where you are, or what you do. and actually i'm also affraid that someday if this is always happens, we will lose our contact. busy with our own bussiness. and ignoring everything. sometimes, i try to call you. but you still ignoring me, often. so how can i communicate with you...
i'm in dilemma now, i want you to always here, but it is as strong as i want you to have a job, to have a better life. not like this. we're not doing anything all the day. so i used to let you go home, and live your life there. with your family. maybe you will get a thing there. and maybe you will be more useful there than here. still asked why both of us not take the next step to life. why both of us still stuck here. is it because of you? or because of me? or because of us?
i really have some feel of guilty to your family. that i dont bring a positive influence for you. that we still stuck here. uhhhh...