still dunno

still dont know what am i looking for,
anyway congratz, finally you got the job, but i think i will feel more lonely if you go to work next month.but very happy that you got that.seeing you happy always makes me happy too.
but this recent day i just feel ignore by you, yeaahh like usual, singing my ost by utopia, hahhaa.that really makes me down you know. that i dont have no one to talk. makes me affraid that i will be alone someday. and i'm affraid to be alone. anywayy, you just send me text message, lets we open it.so you just reply my sms with nope, wae?so short. you know, yesterday i really feel dont have no one. i dont have you. i dont have our friends. really feel alone. depressed. but thanks to my namja that he call me yesterday night and hear me.having a long and exciting talk. something that i can't get from you anymore since a long time. he hear me a lot. makes me little bit feel better. at least i still have him yesterday, when everyone left me. thanks God You sent him. i really enjoy these kind of relationship. although you're not disagree with that. enough talking about him.
so dont you know that today i decide to release my self, my shell. i try to make a friendship with my factory friends. i decide to open myself, and not stuck with you. something that i know i should do. you have do that first. you make a lot friend this recent time, right? makes me really feel jealous. yeaahh i do. so i decide it. making a lot friends. because i'm really affraid that i will left alone, and someday i will have no one.
sometimes i feel like i dont know you. that you are whom i know is not like this. is this really you?you really change a lot. i really can't imagine this is really you. okayy it lead to positive changes. but still i feel weird. sometimes i just miss the past of you. sometimes. but it doesnt matter actually whether you change a lot or not. because i promised that i will accept you just the way you are, right?but please dont ignore me. it makes me really hurt you know. dont have no one and ignoring by you.that is the worst. aarrgghh y sudahlah...i will just take it simple and easy. i will makes my day happier even you're not beside me. making a lot friend. working like workaholic. going out with friends. buying something i like. talking with my namja. everything as long as its makes me happy and peaceful. just wish me luck this time okayyy...