huh

this time i really learn that we're not always get everything we want. even my heartedfully will, doesn't change anything. this time i learn to have a responsibility beyond the private things. although that private things is the most important thing in my life. the thing to whom i will give every breath, every heart. but, it doesn't change anything after all. my mood going bad. try to cheering up myself. i supposed to be happy that finally you're come here. although we can't meet. huhuhuhuhuhuuu. at least we will see the same sky, and breath the same air. huh. i really want to go tomorrow, to leave everything because of you. but i can't. i've think many way to run off. but there's no way. i supposed to arrange the way to run off perfectly if i know that tomorrow will be the only chance to meet you. this is really irritate me. aarrggghhhh. and i begin hate you for everything you do without noticing me. can you at least giving me a notification first? you always do this to me. a l w a y s. you always say that you are in uncertainty condition. and you dont want to give a hope that we can meet up. so you didn't say anything, didn't notice anything. affraid that we can't meet up. okaayyy... even that will be better than this condition. like i've seen you but i can't go to you because my foot can't move. hate this the most. i prefer to disappointed that we can't meet because of external things, a sudden thing, not like this. hate this the most. i was really used to delayed by you. to follow the rythm of your life. with all that uncertainty things include in. and just tell me, when i can't follow you? this time!. you know that i will sacrifice everything for you. to always follow your rythm, but this time i really can't. i used to arranged that the other things will not interfere us long day before. i think the way,that every step i take will not interfering us, that there will be no people affect me to take my decision about you. but i lose this time. there will be many people involve. and i just can see you without doing anything. i hate this the most.

anywayy...love this blog. i think i will be crazy if i dont have this blog. at least writing here makes my mood better.